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Are You a CarDoll Hater?

First of all, let me make a statement in regards to vested interests and financial motivations: Neither I, nor any of my business partners or affiliated companies receive any payment, advertising funds, or in any way benefit from the success or failure of "The CarDoll".  The same holds true for Jamie Lynn's husband (Ted Ing) and his businesses, or any of their other business interests.

I respect the right of each and every ADM Professional Community member to express their opinion, and if you disagree with me, I will usually promote your post! Last Wednesday, Larry Bruce paid me a compliment in Houston when he said to an ADM member who was complaining about "The CarDoll" to me:

"One thing about Ralph, I have posted many articles and statements that he vehemently disagrees with, but I have never seen him delete or moderate somebody for having an opinion different from his..."

(or something like that - sorry Larry if I got that wrong) I am deeply optimistic that a few of you reading this, who disagree with me, may understand that people who are friends can have differing opinions on such matters. I simply feel, in my heart, that to attack someone for the way they dress, or their personal mannerisms is wrong...

Long before certain individuals started talking about punching a young woman in the face for wearing a short dress in an automotive training video, I despised bigotry, racism, prejudice against people who look and/or act differently, along with the intolerant and at times violent behaviors that go with such hateful principles... Such as judging people by their appearance or ostracizing a person because of their looks. Threatening a young person with harm or rallying and influencing others to adopt the same negative attitude and hatreds towards appearance that is outside what somebody has deemed acceptable.

That is probably why I tend to defend the rights of gays, lesbians, people of color, those shorter than me, taller than me, darker than me, lighter than me, or even those stupid car salesmen that don't wear ties to sales meetings! Heck, I am even so far out of the norm that I have willfully, gladly and with a positive attitude sold cars to strippers, porn stars, sluts and the whores that cheat on their husbands (the reverse are the manly men who cheat on their wives).

I have actually accepted payments from people wearing bikinis and short-shorts who wanted to buy a car... Worse yet, I have sold vehicles to many of the undocumented immigrants here in Arizona who get gouged on their payroll taxes, then never file a return to get a refund of their over-payments, but who needed a car to get back and forth from that same job.

One of the best characteristics about the car business (in my opinion) is how, for the most part, we do not act prejudicial, regardless of a customer's appearance... As long as they have the means or credit rating to buy a car.

I have seen restaurants and bars refuse to serve people who look different than their usual clientele, but am proud to say, and thank the Lord that in MY CHOSEN INDUSTRY, I have not yet seen a customer kicked out of a dealership for their appearance, or even something as offensive as too much cleavage or a skirt that is too short.

Maybe my support for The CarDoll (Jamie Lynn Ing) is misplaced, but try to take a look at it through my eyes... Because, I look at the situation this way - I was raised during a time in American culture when many of us were taught that if you don't have anything good to say about somebody, then you don't say anything at all... Those that know me, also know that i have on many occasions violated this principle when a company or person does something i feel egregious enough to speak out about... Such as fraud, charging for a product or service that does not perform as promised, etc.  However, in this situation it seems to me that for ANYBODY to put a lot of effort into criticizing and personally attacking a community member in the social media space based on personal appearance is just plain wrong... This is how bullying and some of the related suicides we see in various news reports have occurred.

I had the unforgettable misfortune of witnessing deadly homophobic mob violence in Buffalo New York (outside of a Hertel Ave. bar), when I was 21 years old... The victim was guilty of dressing inappropriately, revealing his sexual orientation in the wrong place at the wrong time. At that moment, maybe I was in shock, I vowed to NEVER become a "hater" and to accept people who were different from me as individuals.  Because we are fortunate enough to live in the United States, we are living in what most of us would like to describe as a free country... I was so radicalized by my traumatic experience that I am now foolish enough to believe that if a woman so chooses, she is entitled to wear short dresses, or even show off her cleavage if she wants to. If you find that concept shocking, you better move to Saudi Arabia... Or at least stay away from most Phoenix are dealership Finance Departments.

Now, with that said, I am quite comfortable with informing those that report to me in a work situation that clothing is either appropriate for our workplace, or it is not.  I also understand that if the people working in a business are not dressed in a manner that meets the approval of some people, that that business may lose those people as customers.  In fact, as incredible as some may find this to be about my background, I once escorted a high ranking Honda executive OUT of a party at NADA because of the scantily clad women who had been hired to mingle with the crowd at the party... (but Ralph, that doesn't happen in the car business!)

But guess what I did not do? I did not insult, assault or even pass judgement on the people who chose to stay at the party, nor did I slap any of the women or "punch them in the face"... as somebody has posted, describing what they want to do to Jamie Lynn (aka CarDoll).

I do not have to become a CarDoll customer, I am not now, nor do I intend to become one... neither do you or anyone else. Quite honestly, her appearance and mannerisms make me somewhat uncomfortable, but for those that enjoy her style of training and communication, more power to you... Vive le Différence!

What ever happened to simply posting a comment expressing a strong negative opinion? Trying to organize a public lynching of anyone for the reasons people are attacking Jamie Lynn (the CarDoll) is far too close to the sentiments that create Lynch Mobs and emboldens those that burn crosses on people's front lawns for my own morality and sense of right and wrong to accept.

How many of the CarDoll's detractors have communicated directly with her and attempted to coach her? I have... Have her other critics? Because, yes... I am a critic and Jamie Lynn and Ted Ing both know it.

If we deem ourselves enlightened, forward thinking "Thought Leaders", then we should refuse to accept "Hate Behavior", or any other form of online or offline bullying and appearance-based judgmental rejection... Where does it end? Are Burqas the next female clothing requirement in the auto industry?

Make no mistake, the way people have expressed a desire to physically abuse Jamie Lynn, to "Punch her in the face" is fueled by the same types of hatred and misogynistic motivations as when a group of Afghan men stone a young woman to death for exposing her face in public... Or, when an Indian girl is gang raped to death and the perpetrators say she had it coming. For those of you spewing hatred and intolerance for Jamie Lynn's appearance.... Osama Bin Laden has 76 virgins for you too.

Every single person in my life who is closely related to me, my daughters, granddaughters, my wife and many of my best friends, are women... I admire and respect women in general.  I am thankful that my daughters and granddaughters were born in a country that protects a woman's rights, more so than many other countries (although not as much as several). I am not willing to be neutral or silent about judging any woman solely by her appearance, or the clothing she chooses to wear... Whether it is because she is a devout Moslem, choosing to wear a Burqa, or a Philadelphia news reporter wearing a dress that is too short by Amish standards; either way, such appearance based rushes to judgement and the inflexible standards implied seem wrong to me.

Regardless of the clothing Jamie Lynn (CarDoll) wears or even the way she displays an attitude that seems remarkably similar to what I see so many men expressing in public settings, and then being admired by their peers, and rewarded for, there is something fundamentally wrong with hating her, or attacking her for it.  

I find the whole CarDoll bashing thing to be a disgusting example of intolerance and "socially acceptable" prejudice. These are people motivated by opinions far too similar to what drives violence against women, or result in a gay man tied to a fence in Wyoming, then beaten to death. I am ashamed of the people I know who are so eager to hate a woman who dares to act like the TV commercials used to sell cars, or for saying the same things that men are applauded and revered for. 

As a whole, this world could use a little more love, and a lot less hate...

Tags: Appearance, Attacking, Based, CarDoll, Gender Stereotype, Media, People, Sexual Orientation, Social

Views: 3947

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Replies to This ADM Discussion

Thank you Kelly... Well said!

I am not sure why... But I ran across the following quote posted by a YouTube user as a comment to a video about "Loving Your Neighbor As Yourself" and it just seemed to be so appropriate to this Forum Discussion.  I am NOT COMFORTABLE with any references to my religious background or beliefs being mixed in with my online professional content... But, as I did with the video, I will make an exception based on the strength of my inner feelings regarding this matter:

Matthew 5:44-47 "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" Matthew 22:39 "Love your neighbor as yourself."

What Kelly, when the heck did we let women vote? Next thing you know they will let the GLBT crowd marry! I have to say thanks Manny for the starbucks lesson. Symbology is a beautiful thing.

My dad railed for years against the peace symbol because it had origins in anti Christian movements - apparently around 1000+ years ago, and units in the Nazi army claimed it, as well. But it ALSO evolved from people around the world holding hands.

In the words of the late - and interesting, Rodney King: "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?"

Enjoy this article with your favorite hot beverage from the aforementioned Starbucks:

Teach Peace Moment: Peace Symbol History

Tom, personally your sarcasm puts me in a good humor! But God help you if the wrong person reads it and doesn't find the same humor. You will be raked over the coals! Be careful! :)

Thanks Todd . . . this is a kumbaya thread that promotes love and tolerance. I'm well-documented here as being pro freedom of speech and anti objectification marketing (if that's a term). I support the RIGHT of cardoll to promote themselves they way the choose, even if I think the premise is dead wrong.

Tom, you are a voice of reason.  Todd, I appreciate the same good humor.

Cool Tom, freedom it is!  Long live Freedom, Rock n Roll, and CarDoll! Peace out!

Todd,  I don't actually support Cardoll or their methods.  I do support freedom and I like Rock n Roll. ;-)  But I have expressed throughout this thread that I really don't like online bullying and censorship by mob attack.  In fact that was what this post was all about.

The intensity of anger directed at Cardoll was inappropriate in that it is misdirected.  It should have been aimed at any dealer who would hire and support that message.  I don't feel comfortable demonizing one woman to impress or empathize with other women even if I do empathize with them.


Todd, I kind of winced when I read your reply above... First of all, many of us, including me, have appreciated when ever you share your opinions and thoughts about a topic. The nature of any "Discussion" is to include different perspectives.

Secondly, PLEASE do not ever hesitate to straighten me out if I get out of line and you think something I have posted is unreasonable or in the wrong direction.  Yes, I have made these statements to you on several occasions, and i will keep reminding you that you have a voice on ADM and your opinion is respected, whether or not people agree with it.

There is something about your reply to Tom that implies either a lack of respect for myself and other ADM Professionals, or that you are not supposed to comment on discussions like this one.  Which brings me to my final point in replying to you... I have been contacted by at least ten ADM Professional Members who have privately, while invoking confidentiality, explained to me that they would never DARE to respond to this Forum Discussion because they do not want to be subjected to the personal attacks, sarcasm and ridicule levied by the CarDoll Haters and their followers.

So... I applaud your willingness to post a reply and whether or not I liked it, or agreed with it is besides the point. Thank you for having an opinion and being willing to share it as well...

Please do not hesitate to call, text or email me if there is ever anything you want to discuss, or anything I can do to help.

Ralph Paglia


Ralph, thank you. I'm a big boy. The remarks bounce off. There were 1,800 folks when I first signed up on ADM. Now there is over 7,000. There is a reason less than 1 percent chime in on this stuff. For fear of saying the wrong thing "again", I will let the stat speak for itself...

For the CarDoll, This is one of those "I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight to the death your right to say it" situations. I may end up being a martyr here defending the CarDolls right to say what she wants, how she wants to say it! :)

Time to get to work, Good selling today Ralph (you to Tom)! 

Todd, it appears that we both misunderstood each other.  I just wanted to clarify my position. I enjoy having you speak on on issues.  I sent you a private message here on ADM. 

Your a good man Tom Gorham (and Ralph Paglia), have a blessed day sirs!


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