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April 1, 2014 (Orlando, FL) -- ActivEngage, Inc., the most trusted brand in automotive live chat, has recently decided to throw out their highly-detailed reporting and analytics platforms. Instead, they will hire psychics to predict your dealership’s success with live chat.
The psychics, who foresaw they would be chosen for the job once the foolery of analytics was realized, are now working in ActivEngage’s headquarters in Orlando, FL. No expense was spared to provide them with top-of-the-line crystal balls, tarot cards, and telephones to call customers about their most recent visions.
“We have gotten rid of all of our reliable business intelligence and are letting our new employees use their ‘gut feelings’ to guide our customers. We know that psychics are very efficient at predicting how a dealership’s Internet business will perform and they have valid visions for why one dealership does better than another,” commented Todd Smith, CEO of ActivEngage, when pressed about this bold move.
ActivEngage knows this change may come as a shock to many dealerships, so to ease the blow, all dealership staff members will receive a personal palm reading free of charge. The palm readings will determine the staff’s expected sales for the month, as well as a few bonus details about their romantic relationships and life expectancy.
For more information about ActivEngage’s new Team of Psychics, visit our website here.