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Crazy "Car Biz" Closers

What's the craziest lines or stories you've ever heard in a dealership to close the deal? Come on now, this is the car biz after all!

Members: 12
Latest ADM Activity: Sep 1, 2012

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Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on April 1, 2009 at 12:04pm
Well, I do recall a test drive that nearly ended in a crash. We were "testing" out the 4x4 capabilities of this new SUV by reading up on it's approach angle which we did not believe. So we naturally wanted to be certain by approaching a hill that was at that ridiculous angle and creeped up to it. At first it bit at the edge of the hill and I laughed out loud thinking, " See? There is just no way" Until the driver gave it a bit more gas at a lower gear. The SUV bounced up this side of the hill very quickly and the hill ended quite abruptly and suddenly the front wheels were in the sky like a dog begging for a treat. The fun was not over there b/c once the throttle was released the front came plopping down on another opposite angle of said hill and now tossed the rear wheels into the air so we were now facing the ground and placing our hands onto the windshield.
It did settle out on back onto all four wheels but not after swallowing my heart twice. This was when I leaned into the back seat and said to our customers, "See? Now what do you think about the "brand name here" SUV?"

I think they bought it...
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on March 28, 2009 at 7:38am
boohaha-I wonder if Majors ever get Kernels in their sh*t?
Comment by Ralph Paglia on March 27, 2009 at 3:40pm
"Folks, now that we have everything worked out on the down payment and monthly payments... How did you want to handle the taxes and government fees? Will you be using a check or credit card? Did you want me to find out about financing the sales tax?
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on March 27, 2009 at 8:41am
Another one was "The delivery from hell". I had a car that was ordered arrive on my day off. My GSM called me and said he had already called the customer to come in and had sent the car to clean up. What time was I going to be there? "Right away, boss!" I jumped in the shower and cut myself shaving in the rush. It was not a big cut but a gushers nonetheless. Got dressed (put pressure on it) hopped in the car and headed to work (put pressure on it) and greeted my customers when it looked as if it had stopped gushing.
I was in the middle of the delivery paperwork with the customers (a nice middle class family) when the receptionist waved at me frantically and pointed at her face. I checked my own and came back with a handful of blood. I quickly excused myself and told F&I to grab them up. I looked like car accident victim by the time I made it to the mens room. ( I thought, wow, how long was I bleeding like this in front of those customers? )
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on March 27, 2009 at 7:31am
Well many moons ago I was selling Hondas at Flagstaff Honda. I had gotten the commitment to buy today when the young man told me, "That is the price, not a penny more! I am a fireman and do not pay taxes or processing fees!" I argued at first but finally thought, fine that's how it is in Arizona that's cool. I went to my GM and told him after putting the deal together. He paged the customer into his office and asked him, "So, what's your chief's name? Uh huh.(writes it down) and should I call him and ask him how long you've been stupid?"
Me and the young guy just stood there in silence.
The GM piped up, "Your taxes and processing fee adds up to $1,750.00 and you ARE going to pay it. Thanks for your business."

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