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Crazy "Car Biz" Closers

What's the craziest lines or stories you've ever heard in a dealership to close the deal? Come on now, this is the car biz after all!

Members: 12
Latest ADM Activity: Sep 1, 2012

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Comment by Silia J. Hatzi on April 3, 2009 at 11:03am
THAT is a killer line, Christian!

Comment by Silia J. Hatzi on April 3, 2009 at 11:02am
Hiya, Stan:

In my experience, with only two notable exceptions, attorneys generally deserve their reputation for Jaws. But unfortunately "Car Salesman" is not typically associated with nobility & irreproachable service to others either... part of what I like about our ADM community is that most of us seem committed to professional conduct (I do not mean whimpy: professionalism -in my book- has ahem... "grit" but also dignity).
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on April 3, 2009 at 10:52am
" I love lawyers as customers. We are both hated equally. "
I usually start with that line and then we concur that I will do my job and sell'em.
Comment by Silia J. Hatzi on April 3, 2009 at 10:34am
Here's the craziest closing story I've ever heard in the car biz, courtecy of my buddy, JWH:

My buddy was working a deal for at least a couple of weeks with this guy who was a big-shot attorney: his salesperson was like FiFi the circus dog jumping through hoops.. they located several cars, had his vehicle appraised, worked several different lease payments, purchase payments etc. doing what needed to be done to satisfy the guy which they didn't mind expect this guy didn’t appreciate it all -he was just relishing everyone was jumping through hoops for him.

Finally, he decides on a vehicle they didn’t have so they asked for a deposit to go get the vehicle and he goes into a long-winded speech about his word being enough along with his hand shake, blah, blah, blah. So they get the numbers agreed on and get the vehicle.

The vehicle comes in, they get it cleaned and ready for delivery. After all the hard part was done all the guy had to do was inspect it, complete the documents and speak to the business manager. So he arrives, inspects the vehicle and sits down with his salesperson to complete the initial documents, purchase order, etc. When he gets to the purchase order he stares at the numbers for a few minutes & then tells the salesperson he thinks everything looks good but he needs to talk to his wife...

The salesperson -flustered- excuses himself and comes to my buddy at the sales desk and explains what’s going on; my buddy's been watching from afar so he knows something is up. He's told that macho man now has to talk to his wife. Well, my buddy's used car manager was very country... in his 4x4 truck he had a sack that was made from a bull scrotum: it looked like pair from a bull with a leather strap at the top to secure whatever you wanted inside; he used it to throw his trash in. My buddy asked him for the keys to his truck and retrieved the ball sack and went in front of Mr. "I need to talk to my wife".

My buddy sits down quietly and sets the ball sack on the desk between them. The guy looked a little perplexed, and asked “what is that?” My buddy says: 'it’s a “pair” since you left yours at home in your wife’s purse I thought I would loan them to you so we can put this chapter to rest'.

The guy stared at the sack lying on the desk and his face turned red and his brow furrowed…he stood up and my buddy thought he was going to leave because he had insulted him. The guy reaches his hand across the desk and says, “very good, I have to commend you; more importantly I guess we should get this paperwork done”.
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on April 3, 2009 at 8:03am
Once upon a time in the car biz I was inside the fishbowl making calls. I watched the owner arrive and march inside the GM's office. He called him outside and then proceeded to yell at him up and down while shaking his hands and spilling drops of coffee in the GM's face who was about a foot shorter than the owner. I watched as the GM's calm demeanor just lit up a cigarette and began smoking and knodding his head while the owner flew off the handle at him. "Is that all boss?" he asked. "Yeah!" yelled the owner. "I'll get right on it then." The GM then dropped his cigarette into the owners coffee cup unoticed and walked inside the showroom locking the door behind him. The owner took one or two steps towards his demo, brought the cup to his lips and let out a roar after seeing the suprise inside, sending the cup across the parking lot and bolting toward the locked door of the showroom. He bounced off of it and started fuming. I think I nearly pissed myself before letting him in.
Comment by Ralph Paglia on April 1, 2009 at 8:51pm
Stan is late model, but with a big deduct for high mileage! :-)
We love you Stan!
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on April 1, 2009 at 4:31pm
Dang you're a kid in this biz bra! Wiz kid
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on April 1, 2009 at 4:19pm
broken down banks? Do they offer roadside assistance? I wonder...
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on April 1, 2009 at 4:06pm
Ok, so there's this new guy who does not look so new. We'll call him "Snotkins" he has a very rough voice-to the point of breaking up that it is hard to understand him most of the time face to face let alone on the phone. Still he manages to sell cars. (God bless the car biz, right?) So customer calls into the BDC and say someone left him a message and the customer does not know who. While the rep is looking up the customers info. he states " The guy sounded like emphysema man - truthfully I thought it was a joke" When we looked him up it was "Snotkins" We had to switch to a different salesperson to sell that customer.
Comment by Christian V. Fackrell on April 1, 2009 at 12:47pm
credit criminal = funny I sold cars to Native Americans like that and they always asked "What was the muntlee?" Never the price. I had heard that line used b4 in the box when customers scoffed at the payments. So we had to break it down to bi-weekly payments. They signed.

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