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Are You a CarDoll Hater?
First of all, let me make a statement in regards to vested interests and financial motivations: Neither I, nor any of my business partners or affiliated companies receive any payment, advertising funds, or in any way benefit from the success or failure of "The CarDoll". The same holds true for Jamie Lynn's husband (Ted Ing) and his businesses, or any of their other business interests.
I respect the right of each and every ADM Professional Community member to express their opinion, and if you disagree with me, I will usually promote your post! Last Wednesday, Larry Bruce paid me a compliment in Houston when he said to an ADM member who was complaining about "The CarDoll" to me:
"One thing about Ralph, I have posted many articles and statements that he vehemently disagrees with, but I have never seen him delete or moderate somebody for having an opinion different from his..."
(or something like that - sorry Larry if I got that wrong) I am deeply optimistic that a few of you reading this, who disagree with me, may understand that people who are friends can have differing opinions on such matters. I simply feel, in my heart, that to attack someone for the way they dress, or their personal mannerisms is wrong...
Long before certain individuals started talking about punching a young woman in the face for wearing a short dress in an automotive training video, I despised bigotry, racism, prejudice against people who look and/or act differently, along with the intolerant and at times violent behaviors that go with such hateful principles... Such as judging people by their appearance or ostracizing a person because of their looks. Threatening a young person with harm or rallying and influencing others to adopt the same negative attitude and hatreds towards appearance that is outside what somebody has deemed acceptable.
That is probably why I tend to defend the rights of gays, lesbians, people of color, those shorter than me, taller than me, darker than me, lighter than me, or even those stupid car salesmen that don't wear ties to sales meetings! Heck, I am even so far out of the norm that I have willfully, gladly and with a positive attitude sold cars to strippers, porn stars, sluts and the whores that cheat on their husbands (the reverse are the manly men who cheat on their wives).
I have actually accepted payments from people wearing bikinis and short-shorts who wanted to buy a car... Worse yet, I have sold vehicles to many of the undocumented immigrants here in Arizona who get gouged on their payroll taxes, then never file a return to get a refund of their over-payments, but who needed a car to get back and forth from that same job.
One of the best characteristics about the car business (in my opinion) is how, for the most part, we do not act prejudicial, regardless of a customer's appearance... As long as they have the means or credit rating to buy a car.
I have seen restaurants and bars refuse to serve people who look different than their usual clientele, but am proud to say, and thank the Lord that in MY CHOSEN INDUSTRY, I have not yet seen a customer kicked out of a dealership for their appearance, or even something as offensive as too much cleavage or a skirt that is too short.
Maybe my support for The CarDoll (Jamie Lynn Ing) is misplaced, but try to take a look at it through my eyes... Because, I look at the situation this way - I was raised during a time in American culture when many of us were taught that if you don't have anything good to say about somebody, then you don't say anything at all... Those that know me, also know that i have on many occasions violated this principle when a company or person does something i feel egregious enough to speak out about... Such as fraud, charging for a product or service that does not perform as promised, etc. However, in this situation it seems to me that for ANYBODY to put a lot of effort into criticizing and personally attacking a community member in the social media space based on personal appearance is just plain wrong... This is how bullying and some of the related suicides we see in various news reports have occurred.
I had the unforgettable misfortune of witnessing deadly homophobic mob violence in Buffalo New York (outside of a Hertel Ave. bar), when I was 21 years old... The victim was guilty of dressing inappropriately, revealing his sexual orientation in the wrong place at the wrong time. At that moment, maybe I was in shock, I vowed to NEVER become a "hater" and to accept people who were different from me as individuals. Because we are fortunate enough to live in the United States, we are living in what most of us would like to describe as a free country... I was so radicalized by my traumatic experience that I am now foolish enough to believe that if a woman so chooses, she is entitled to wear short dresses, or even show off her cleavage if she wants to. If you find that concept shocking, you better move to Saudi Arabia... Or at least stay away from most Phoenix are dealership Finance Departments.
Now, with that said, I am quite comfortable with informing those that report to me in a work situation that clothing is either appropriate for our workplace, or it is not. I also understand that if the people working in a business are not dressed in a manner that meets the approval of some people, that that business may lose those people as customers. In fact, as incredible as some may find this to be about my background, I once escorted a high ranking Honda executive OUT of a party at NADA because of the scantily clad women who had been hired to mingle with the crowd at the party... (but Ralph, that doesn't happen in the car business!)
But guess what I did not do? I did not insult, assault or even pass judgement on the people who chose to stay at the party, nor did I slap any of the women or "punch them in the face"... as somebody has posted, describing what they want to do to Jamie Lynn (aka CarDoll).
I do not have to become a CarDoll customer, I am not now, nor do I intend to become one... neither do you or anyone else. Quite honestly, her appearance and mannerisms make me somewhat uncomfortable, but for those that enjoy her style of training and communication, more power to you... Vive le Différence!
What ever happened to simply posting a comment expressing a strong negative opinion? Trying to organize a public lynching of anyone for the reasons people are attacking Jamie Lynn (the CarDoll) is far too close to the sentiments that create Lynch Mobs and emboldens those that burn crosses on people's front lawns for my own morality and sense of right and wrong to accept.
How many of the CarDoll's detractors have communicated directly with her and attempted to coach her? I have... Have her other critics? Because, yes... I am a critic and Jamie Lynn and Ted Ing both know it.
If we deem ourselves enlightened, forward thinking "Thought Leaders", then we should refuse to accept "Hate Behavior", or any other form of online or offline bullying and appearance-based judgmental rejection... Where does it end? Are Burqas the next female clothing requirement in the auto industry?
Make no mistake, the way people have expressed a desire to physically abuse Jamie Lynn, to "Punch her in the face" is fueled by the same types of hatred and misogynistic motivations as when a group of Afghan men stone a young woman to death for exposing her face in public... Or, when an Indian girl is gang raped to death and the perpetrators say she had it coming. For those of you spewing hatred and intolerance for Jamie Lynn's appearance.... Osama Bin Laden has 76 virgins for you too.
Every single person in my life who is closely related to me, my daughters, granddaughters, my wife and many of my best friends, are women... I admire and respect women in general. I am thankful that my daughters and granddaughters were born in a country that protects a woman's rights, more so than many other countries (although not as much as several). I am not willing to be neutral or silent about judging any woman solely by her appearance, or the clothing she chooses to wear... Whether it is because she is a devout Moslem, choosing to wear a Burqa, or a Philadelphia news reporter wearing a dress that is too short by Amish standards; either way, such appearance based rushes to judgement and the inflexible standards implied seem wrong to me.
Regardless of the clothing Jamie Lynn (CarDoll) wears or even the way she displays an attitude that seems remarkably similar to what I see so many men expressing in public settings, and then being admired by their peers, and rewarded for, there is something fundamentally wrong with hating her, or attacking her for it.
I find the whole CarDoll bashing thing to be a disgusting example of intolerance and "socially acceptable" prejudice. These are people motivated by opinions far too similar to what drives violence against women, or result in a gay man tied to a fence in Wyoming, then beaten to death. I am ashamed of the people I know who are so eager to hate a woman who dares to act like the TV commercials used to sell cars, or for saying the same things that men are applauded and revered for.
As a whole, this world could use a little more love, and a lot less hate...
I emailed him. We'll see if he wants to chime in.
Ralph, you have always been an industry hero to me. But this post is why I also consider you a personal friend I am privileged to know. I cannot express an opinion on Cardoll; I haven't seen it but for a quick glance. But it doesn't matter. What you expressed here is entirely appropriate and this world would be a better place if everyone took the attitude you have expressed. Thank you!
Tom, thank you again... I have spent a good part of my adult life supporting fiscally conservative politics, voting Republican or Libertarian, except for Ross Perot's two candidacies, and I have always considered living within the spirit and intent that created the Constitution of the USA to be a conservative position... But, somehow in the last 30 years the liberal left has been able to take this "brand" that is most defined by the US Bill of Rights and position liberal politics as the home of such thinking... In my opinion, protecting American freedoms guaranteed by the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and defining what it means to be an American based on the underlying principles it contains, then acting accordingly, is as conservative as can be.
Hmm, ok I checked out Cardoll's profile page and found an interesting link to an article by Grant Cardone. http://www.grantcardone.com/cardone/blog/get-so-much-attention-you-...
In this article, Grant states, "Get so much attention that people are criticizing you. People will say, "That
guy is doing too much. You see him? Who does he think he is? Why does he act like that? Oh, he thinks he's all that..blah, blah, blah."
"No matter how you do it, there will be somebody who isn't going to like the way
you do it. So at least do it the way you want to do it."
I think Cardoll is simply taking Grant's advice. It will either work or it won't. It will rise or fall on it's own merits. And Ralph, you said, "I was raised during a time in American culture when many of us were taught that if you don't have anything good to say about somebody, then you don't say anything at all..." ME TOO!
Thank you, Tom... You and I both remember the hopes and dreams of the 60's and 70's along with the awareness of what civil rights were actually about... We have seen politicians who debated each other during campaigns WITHOUT personal attacks and instead focused on their differences specific to relevant issues... You and I remember when swearing at a teacher in school resulted in getting suspended and possibly a soapy mouth wash... This instilled a sense of pride in us that the United States was a place where people could look, act and appear different from what we were comfortable with, but not result in violence or personal disrespect.
As imperfect as we are as a nation, I am most proud of our differences and the way we embrace the debate and dialogue that comes naturally with freedom of speech... The fact that we can transition from one government administration to the next with calm and without violence... But, when that same type of communication turns hateful and becomes designed to personally hurt or embarrass people, my pride turns to shame.
I wasn't raised at that time, but I was raised the same. My mother taught me to be respectful, and to listen to what they had to say before I disagreed and personal attacks were unacceptable. This isn't about a generational gap, but about the change in media and open forums allowing us all to speak a bit more freely. We are allowed to have different opinions, but we have to be cautious of the personal attacks. There really is no place for that. I have already taken some heat for my opinion on the matter, but it was private debates where we walked away knowing that although we didn't change our minds, we're left to think just a bit differently.
That being said. These angry people have a reason to be upset. Not everyone understands why we're allowing as an industry for someone to sexualize something as important as training and more importantly put inappropriate content out there. So they should be able to discuss it as well don't you think?
Well said. If the folks on this thread consider the three pics I put in the thread in a reply to Manny, I wonder if it changes their minds? At least to consider things differently.
Subi, I see in you a great example how a person such as yourself, in what is really few words, does more positive than any amount of CarDoll-type communications ever will.
Thanks Keith. I'm not perfect... I don't pretend to be. I just wanted a different view to be present. That's all.
Ralph - thanks for standing up for the First Amendment, and human decency overall. Even as a card-carrying entrepreneurial conservative, I contend that I served in the Marine Corps for seven years to protect the right of people to say what they want - even if they are wrong :)
That said, the retail car industry was among the last in the business world to stamp out sexual harassment and discrimination in the workplace. I have vivid memories from a dozen years ago when the MATCO TOOLS car-girl calendars had to come off the tool boxes in the shop, and as managers we had to teach the common sense not to be distributing nudie pix through work email. Oh, and the joys of stamping out the double-entendres as a HUMMER dealer!!
I don't have any hate - or even dislike - for CarDoll, but I do say that it is an affront to the women - my friends - who have earned their recognition as equals in the industry. My personal opinion, of course. I would be VERY interested to hear the thoughts of Dr. Archuleta on the situation.
Keep up the great work on this site.
P.S. I, too, pride myself as one who joyfully sold cars to strippers.
Tom, thanks for posting your opinion... I agree with you, have been through countless hours of training, have sat with corporate counsel during discussions around sexual harassment allegations... Have seen a handful of really good car guys lose their careers due to inappropriate behavior, and I have sent female employees home from work at my dealership so they could change into more appropriate clothing... I truly respect your statement about the rights of Americans to say what they want, which is probably more significant when they are wrong...
I am not sure anybody realizes this, but I only invited The CarDoll to join the ADM Community and post her videos and blogs AFTER I realized that certain elements in the auto industry were planning a social media based "smear campaign" to personally attack Jamie Lynn and her husband Ted Ing. I have seen these same people wage such mud slinging in the modern social media arena against me, the AutoCon Conference, Sean Bradley and his Internet Sales 20 Group events, along with a few other people that did not meet their own personal religious and moral standards.
If there is one sure-fire way to get me to stand up for someone, it is when smug over zealous religious extremists start bullying and beating up on them... Such as when the Taliban began beating and maiming women who dared to leave their homes in Afghanistan. As much as I was completely against the decision to invade Iraq, my support for American military intervention in Afghanistan has never wavered... Precisely because of the bigotry and gender brutality waged by Al Quaida and the Taliban.
I know that posting whatever words somebody decides to use as a means of publicly humiliating, berating or simply driving business away from another is not even close to the violence committed against women in so many countries like Afghanistan, but bullying is how it starts and the online world within the auto industry is where I work and spend enough time to take countermeasures.
COME ON, EVERYONE IS DOING IT!
So... Everyone seems to be OK with Joe expressing himself... Hasn't seemed to hurt his business so much... Hmmm.... Maybe I am missing something here... Is Joe really that much more attractive than the CarDoll? Which brings up another question... If all else stayed the same, what would be the reaction to an unattractive woman doing all the same things that Jamie Lynn is doing as the CarDoll... Would anybody actually notice? Would the Taliban be after her?