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Are You a CarDoll Hater?
First of all, let me make a statement in regards to vested interests and financial motivations: Neither I, nor any of my business partners or affiliated companies receive any payment, advertising funds, or in any way benefit from the success or failure of "The CarDoll". The same holds true for Jamie Lynn's husband (Ted Ing) and his businesses, or any of their other business interests.
I respect the right of each and every ADM Professional Community member to express their opinion, and if you disagree with me, I will usually promote your post! Last Wednesday, Larry Bruce paid me a compliment in Houston when he said to an ADM member who was complaining about "The CarDoll" to me:
"One thing about Ralph, I have posted many articles and statements that he vehemently disagrees with, but I have never seen him delete or moderate somebody for having an opinion different from his..."
(or something like that - sorry Larry if I got that wrong) I am deeply optimistic that a few of you reading this, who disagree with me, may understand that people who are friends can have differing opinions on such matters. I simply feel, in my heart, that to attack someone for the way they dress, or their personal mannerisms is wrong...
Long before certain individuals started talking about punching a young woman in the face for wearing a short dress in an automotive training video, I despised bigotry, racism, prejudice against people who look and/or act differently, along with the intolerant and at times violent behaviors that go with such hateful principles... Such as judging people by their appearance or ostracizing a person because of their looks. Threatening a young person with harm or rallying and influencing others to adopt the same negative attitude and hatreds towards appearance that is outside what somebody has deemed acceptable.
That is probably why I tend to defend the rights of gays, lesbians, people of color, those shorter than me, taller than me, darker than me, lighter than me, or even those stupid car salesmen that don't wear ties to sales meetings! Heck, I am even so far out of the norm that I have willfully, gladly and with a positive attitude sold cars to strippers, porn stars, sluts and the whores that cheat on their husbands (the reverse are the manly men who cheat on their wives).
I have actually accepted payments from people wearing bikinis and short-shorts who wanted to buy a car... Worse yet, I have sold vehicles to many of the undocumented immigrants here in Arizona who get gouged on their payroll taxes, then never file a return to get a refund of their over-payments, but who needed a car to get back and forth from that same job.
One of the best characteristics about the car business (in my opinion) is how, for the most part, we do not act prejudicial, regardless of a customer's appearance... As long as they have the means or credit rating to buy a car.
I have seen restaurants and bars refuse to serve people who look different than their usual clientele, but am proud to say, and thank the Lord that in MY CHOSEN INDUSTRY, I have not yet seen a customer kicked out of a dealership for their appearance, or even something as offensive as too much cleavage or a skirt that is too short.
Maybe my support for The CarDoll (Jamie Lynn Ing) is misplaced, but try to take a look at it through my eyes... Because, I look at the situation this way - I was raised during a time in American culture when many of us were taught that if you don't have anything good to say about somebody, then you don't say anything at all... Those that know me, also know that i have on many occasions violated this principle when a company or person does something i feel egregious enough to speak out about... Such as fraud, charging for a product or service that does not perform as promised, etc. However, in this situation it seems to me that for ANYBODY to put a lot of effort into criticizing and personally attacking a community member in the social media space based on personal appearance is just plain wrong... This is how bullying and some of the related suicides we see in various news reports have occurred.
I had the unforgettable misfortune of witnessing deadly homophobic mob violence in Buffalo New York (outside of a Hertel Ave. bar), when I was 21 years old... The victim was guilty of dressing inappropriately, revealing his sexual orientation in the wrong place at the wrong time. At that moment, maybe I was in shock, I vowed to NEVER become a "hater" and to accept people who were different from me as individuals. Because we are fortunate enough to live in the United States, we are living in what most of us would like to describe as a free country... I was so radicalized by my traumatic experience that I am now foolish enough to believe that if a woman so chooses, she is entitled to wear short dresses, or even show off her cleavage if she wants to. If you find that concept shocking, you better move to Saudi Arabia... Or at least stay away from most Phoenix are dealership Finance Departments.
Now, with that said, I am quite comfortable with informing those that report to me in a work situation that clothing is either appropriate for our workplace, or it is not. I also understand that if the people working in a business are not dressed in a manner that meets the approval of some people, that that business may lose those people as customers. In fact, as incredible as some may find this to be about my background, I once escorted a high ranking Honda executive OUT of a party at NADA because of the scantily clad women who had been hired to mingle with the crowd at the party... (but Ralph, that doesn't happen in the car business!)
But guess what I did not do? I did not insult, assault or even pass judgement on the people who chose to stay at the party, nor did I slap any of the women or "punch them in the face"... as somebody has posted, describing what they want to do to Jamie Lynn (aka CarDoll).
I do not have to become a CarDoll customer, I am not now, nor do I intend to become one... neither do you or anyone else. Quite honestly, her appearance and mannerisms make me somewhat uncomfortable, but for those that enjoy her style of training and communication, more power to you... Vive le Différence!
What ever happened to simply posting a comment expressing a strong negative opinion? Trying to organize a public lynching of anyone for the reasons people are attacking Jamie Lynn (the CarDoll) is far too close to the sentiments that create Lynch Mobs and emboldens those that burn crosses on people's front lawns for my own morality and sense of right and wrong to accept.
How many of the CarDoll's detractors have communicated directly with her and attempted to coach her? I have... Have her other critics? Because, yes... I am a critic and Jamie Lynn and Ted Ing both know it.
If we deem ourselves enlightened, forward thinking "Thought Leaders", then we should refuse to accept "Hate Behavior", or any other form of online or offline bullying and appearance-based judgmental rejection... Where does it end? Are Burqas the next female clothing requirement in the auto industry?
Make no mistake, the way people have expressed a desire to physically abuse Jamie Lynn, to "Punch her in the face" is fueled by the same types of hatred and misogynistic motivations as when a group of Afghan men stone a young woman to death for exposing her face in public... Or, when an Indian girl is gang raped to death and the perpetrators say she had it coming. For those of you spewing hatred and intolerance for Jamie Lynn's appearance.... Osama Bin Laden has 76 virgins for you too.
Every single person in my life who is closely related to me, my daughters, granddaughters, my wife and many of my best friends, are women... I admire and respect women in general. I am thankful that my daughters and granddaughters were born in a country that protects a woman's rights, more so than many other countries (although not as much as several). I am not willing to be neutral or silent about judging any woman solely by her appearance, or the clothing she chooses to wear... Whether it is because she is a devout Moslem, choosing to wear a Burqa, or a Philadelphia news reporter wearing a dress that is too short by Amish standards; either way, such appearance based rushes to judgement and the inflexible standards implied seem wrong to me.
Regardless of the clothing Jamie Lynn (CarDoll) wears or even the way she displays an attitude that seems remarkably similar to what I see so many men expressing in public settings, and then being admired by their peers, and rewarded for, there is something fundamentally wrong with hating her, or attacking her for it.
I find the whole CarDoll bashing thing to be a disgusting example of intolerance and "socially acceptable" prejudice. These are people motivated by opinions far too similar to what drives violence against women, or result in a gay man tied to a fence in Wyoming, then beaten to death. I am ashamed of the people I know who are so eager to hate a woman who dares to act like the TV commercials used to sell cars, or for saying the same things that men are applauded and revered for.
As a whole, this world could use a little more love, and a lot less hate...
I'm not interested in much comment policing. We'll talk about what we want to talk about, and I don't agree AT ALL that it diminishes anything. This is one of the best discussions in years on ADM, actually much better imho than Ralph's post, and I say lay it all on.
And that's my uncensored, and off-topic, opinion.
Ralph, like any of us, is entitled to his opinions. And he stated them. His views are his and I think going after Ralph for taking his stance after seeing the responses is much like our opinions after seeing and researching the content that was published. He's not wrong. People are getting way too personal about their disagreements. You can disagree with me, but to call me names is off the table.
And I agree, I'm finding that I took alot from this conversation as a whole.
I must've missed someone calling you a name? Or someone going "after" Ralph? Where did that happen?
I was speaking generally, not directed at you (or me). Just making a point. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.
Thanks! I was worried b/c I didn't see those events. Gotcha.
Subi, I'll call you a name....knowledgeable....and as was pointed out by Megan in an earlier post that is my problem with "The Cardoll". I don't believe it is here knowledge??? I believe she is a front and therefore to me (personally!!!) that is the problem I have with the business model. When I speak to Subi and Megan and many of the wonderful women friends I have in this industry I know they are sharing their knowledge and experience. When it's Jamie Lynn??? I don't get that feeling (please note this is based solely on her online persona as we have never met in person.).
Thank You AJ ... I appreciate the compliment!
AJ, you've sold a car right, so you can relate, and I might learn from your experience selling. I've sold cars, I've desked, I've been in the box, now I do the internet thing, you can relate. The cardoll, as yet to be seen, hasn't done any of these things, so why would I want my service advisor structuring a deal. I wouldn't! The same way I wouldn't want a cardoll training my sales force.
Thank you, Tom... You are correct in that the questions I raised were around personal attacks and "Hate Based" commentary which I have seen used against both "The CarDoll" and several other companies and people in the car business... In the clarity of hindsight, there were many attacks directed at people working for TrueCar and Scott Painter which seemed to get deeply personal and stray away from the "business Model", as well... I was thinking of the college and high school students who have jumped off bridges and hung themselves as a result of online personal attacks... I was thinking of how bad I felt when people ridiculed both me and AutoCon via social media, before the event was a resounding success. The bottom line is that I wanted nothing to do with CarDoll until I saw some people waving their "Holier than Thou" flags and lambasting her in social media... Maybe my sentiments are misplaced, but i simply don't like online bullying and will rally for people, event the tackiest among us, when they are the subject of online vitriol and hate based commentary.
For those like Megan and Mike who question the validity of The CarDoll's material or qualifications, I applaud such questioning.
Ralph, "Maybe my sentiments are misplaced, but i simply don't like online bullying and will rally for people, event the tackiest among us, when they are the subject of online vitriol and hate based commentary." For me, that is what your article and this discussion was about.
I was very impressed with Subi for staying cognizant of that and repectful to all concerned.
Well said Ralph.
Tom, let me just reiterate one part of my original post that less patient people might have never made it to:
"I am not willing to be neutral or silent about judging any woman solely by her appearance, or the clothing she chooses to wear... Whether it is because she is a devout Moslem, choosing to wear a Burqa, or a Philadelphia news reporter wearing a dress that is too short by Amish standards; either way, such appearance based rushes to judgement and the inflexible standards implied seem wrong to me."
I have three daughters, 21, 30 and 32... Sometimes they each (especially the youngest one) wear clothing that I feel is too "blatantly sexy"... And, as uncomfortable as it makes me, I certainly would not want to see any of them suffer the same type of criticism over appearance and sexuality as The CarDoll has suffered... Neither would I like them to use their looks as a means of achieving their business objectives... Yet, I see them each doing so on a fairly regular basis (especially the youngest daughter), and I have resolved myself to the simple fact that they do so because it works. So, who is really to be blamed for such behavior? The people who make it possible, or the people who exploit the enablers for personal gain?